Coffee Chats & Courageous Feedback
I recently made a video comparing the quick, in-the-moment coaching you get in a fitness class to the feedback teachers receive in the classroom, and I was struck by how normal it is for instructors, coaches, and managers in most industries to give (and get) daily feedback, yet in education that kind of culture feels almost nonexistent. At the end of the video I simply asked, “Why?” and most of the responses slid into my DMs rather than showing up in the comments. Clearly, many educators don’t feel safe sharing feedback publicly. So I kind of want to sit and have a cup of coffee with y’all.
Feedback vs. “Evaluation”
When I asked folks why “feedback” so often translates to “evaluation” in our field, my husband (also an educator) and I realized our first-year experiences couldn’t have been more different. He was handed the keys to his own classroom and a talented paraprofessional, wished “good luck,” and sent on his way. I, on the other hand, shared a classroom with a mentor teacher, had not one but two instructional coaches (one focused on reading disabilities, one on behavior) I honestly don’t know if I would have stayed in teaching without all that support.
The Comparison Trap
Teaching is hard enough, but we double-down on the pressure when we scroll through highlight reels on social media. There are televised bougie classroom makeovers no one can compete with, (or afford) perfectly curated bulletin boards, even as far as hand-washing posters in cutesy fonts all present a picture of “ideal” that most of us can’t replicate in our reality. It’s a distraction from the real work: helping post-pandemic kids who missed crucial social and academic milestones. Many of these students endured traumas we’re only beginning to understand, which sometimes show up as behaviors that push our patience, and our emotional reserves, to the limit.
Emotional Energy and Well-Being
A recent study by Lupuleac et al. explored the sustained emotional energy teachers expend daily and the toll it takes on their well-being. Between ever-changing student needs, shifting curricula, and the inherent frustrations of the learning process itself (as Dr. Becky’s “learning space” reminds us), teaching is an endurance sport. We knew that instinctively; the study simply put words, and data, to an experience teachers have lived for years. It’s a cycle that is short circuiting. The teachers have lowering frustration levels, and the students are increasing the levels of frustration. This is causing significant strain on teachers’ mental health and, although this study did not include this information, I think one could hypothesize that the decreased frustration tolerance, the increased strain on mental health and the students with increasing needs is a cycle that is impacting postsecondary outcomes and time spent in the classroom.
In these tumultuous times, when policies shift overnight, global events ripple into our classrooms, and personal stresses run high a culture of continuous learning and improvement becomes our anchor. When everyone from the newest teacher to district leaders embraces learning as a shared journey, we build collective resilience. Psychological safety is the foundation: it gives us the security to admit “I don’t know,” to ask for help, and to iterate on our practice without fear of judgment. That sense of safety not only energizes innovation and collaboration but also reminds us that growth isn’t a solo sprint; it’s a community marathon we run together.
Culture of Adult Learning
Across schools, adult-learning cultures vary wildly. In some districts, walkthroughs have evolved from compliance checks into genuine curriculum conversations. In others, the shadow of evaluation still looms large. And if you and I both started teaching more than a few years ago, you know just how much (and how little) has changed.
Help me out with a little survey:
I would like to know: what’s the feedback culture like in your school or district? Please share as much (or as little) as you feel comfortable, this is an informal survey, in Google Forms, I’ll share the results later. Please share this in groups you are in so I can gather as much information as I can!
Onboarding: What was your first-year experience like? Did you have instructional coaches and mentors that were active in your support?
Learning Forward: Do you have the freedom to try new strategies, even if they don’t always work?
Classroom Autonomy: How much room do you have to innovate in your own classroom?
Leadership Support: When you pilot something new, do you feel backed by your administrators?
When Things Go Awry: If an experiment flops, are you encouraged to learn from it rather than penalized?
